Wednesday, September 2, 2015


Perspective: a particular attitude toward or way of regarding something; a point of view......

Man is this the ultimate gift in life?.... Perspective....  Here lately my perspective has changed. I haven't written in awhile and for some reason my new found revelation of perspective has made me yearn to write about this subject.  Why do i feel the need to share you ask? because without perspective i would have been lost wondering around this world aimlessly hoping for a light that i feared would never be found. So maybe you could use some perspective as well.

In February i lost my grandma, aka the love of my life, my best friend, my mother, my sister, my world... 

She was all of those things for me, my whole life. When she died i broke. I would stare long and distant looking for her, for a sign, for a sliver of something that would bring me to her. There was nothing,  No ounce of her memory, our memories, my life... it felt like when she went that my childhood went with it, As if it didn't exist anymore, all of my feel good memories of her and i swinging on the porch for hours where gone.  
 For awhile i doubted my faith, i doubted what i believed, and to tell you the truth i was mad at God, mad at taking her, then my anger turned into lost faith... which let me tell you, to believe there is no god, no heaven, no chance of ever seeing my grandma again.... Lets just say life can feel lonely and meaningless.  I was okay with going through this cause for me the search wasn't over.
 Im a "happy ending" type of person i knew i would find my faith again, that my walk with god would have some detours, but thats kind of what i like about it. My road won't always be straight and narrow with him.  Sometimes it'll be wide and rough, with many forks and, road blocks along the way. Im ok with that cause i believe thats what makes the end so sweet. I just don't believe its supposed to be that easy.

So about my perspective:

This is my grandpa  ( mind you this is an awful picture of him that my sister took, he had no clue she was taking a picture, but in a way this is kind of the face he probably would have made had he known), 
This is not my biological grandpa, but he's the only grandpa I've ever known so to me he's my grandpa. 
When he lost my grandma in Feb. i've never seen a grown adult come so unglued. Mind you he is the most docile human on this earth. You could never make him mad, or sad, or even happy for that matter, he's never been one for much emotions and honestly we've only ever had small conversation my entire life. So when he came unglued we where all shocked. We had no idea how much she meant to him.  Of course he loved her but oh my he LOVED her, and it all took us by surprise. I wish so bad my grandma could have seen just how much he really cared for her, then maybe she would have been a little nicer to him.  All those years he took care of her, never once did he complain, never did he have resentment or anger, nothing,  he did it all for her out of love. 
Once she passed he suffered a major heart attack.  I believe that was his rock bottom, and then something happened he started getting rid of things like his horses, he fixed up their home, he finished this things she always wanted finished, he bought a vespa motor bike! I believe he started living for himself. All those years he took care of her he forgot about him, what he wanted to do, what he needed, what he liked. For so long it was always about her and what she wanted. My poor grandpa never once put himself first, and maybe just maybe she needed to go, she needed to leave so that he could have one last hurrah, one last thought about what he wants for himself.  I was so selfish in the fact that i couldn't  have her to myself, only to realize he needed some time for himself. As much as it hurt us all to see her go. Him living his life has healed us all. 
Red was her favorite color too. 

Betty's Drinking the coke :) 

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

New bags!

Today I want to share a few bags i made that are hot off the machine! They are all made from genuine suede leather.  My inspiration for the purses was my from my sisters bag her husband got her for Christmas. He does cute things like that. Mine got me a crock pot, and a faucet for my craft room.... He's more of the practical thinker, God love him.

Monday, January 5, 2015

Its been too long Hello 2015

It has been so long since i have written that many times ( ok maybe once) i contemplated deleting my blog all together.  Although i still like the idea of doing that i probably won't.  What motivated me to write today was that i wanted to write down my goals for 2015. I know so Cliché' right? I didn't know where to write them down at. Writing them on paper meant it would get thrown away in a couple of days, and i'm not ready to treat this year with my lack of motivation just yet. This year is going to be different. Maybe it will be better? Maybe it will be worse? If i have any control at all It will start out with at least a little motivation from myself. So here they are;

1. I want to have a positive attitude. To often i find myself left with the end of the week sunday blues, that always work there way into a case of the Mondays.  Well Not No Mor' (she said in her thug voice). Last Sunday as i was feeling very BLAH, I sat there and told myself what the hell Briana get happy! Its all in my mind and that i CAN control so from now on i will.

2. Remove Technology. Ok with in reasoning. I am getting rid of cable, for to many reasons my fingers don't feel like typing. The reasons are obvious ones.

3. Love up on my husband...... This is way easier said than done.  Ive been with my husband for 10 years and Lord knows i love him. This mama is tired, this mama is a creature of habit, and this mama needs to show papa he's worth it. He's worth my time, my hugs and kisses, he's worth being noticed and appreciated way more than he has been. Even when i feel i have nothing left to give after those little monsters have stripped me from my patience. I still need to find it in me to stop and give some more.

4. Im stepping up my game in the business world. Just the thought of doing this is exhausting me. Why have i been selling my handmade goodies for the last 5 years if all i was ever gonna do was the same thing i've always done????  I need to do more. If this means travel more, make more, sell more, advertise more. Than thats what this mama is gonna do....

5. Last but not least i will say the oh so obvious thing..... I WANT THIS LAST 10 LBS OFF MY ASS.   Thats right I'm done.... 10 freaking lbs people..... its leaving this year i don't care if i have to starve..... I will not work out nope won't do it, i hate it. I will starve before i sweat thats for damn sure! Maybe a few walks, maybe a few bike rides. I will not put that jillian Michael's DVD back in i just won't!

So thats it. Thats my list take or leave it. Like it or don't. Its on my blog for this cosmic world to read.  So maybe just maybe it will motivate me to actually do it! What are some of your goals for 2015?
 Heres some pics of the family for you to enjoy. Thanks for taking the time to read!

Heres my husbands parents and siblings along with their wives. We took this same photo last year just like this. Hoping it becomes tradition.  
leaving cookies for Santa. of course a carrot for the reindeer. Where the hells the milk mom? 

This is so a thrift store gift.... He don't care he loves that little math game. 

he got some cool gifts too not just bargain shopping..... 

I love that our little town library did a gingerbread house decorating party, along with Santa being dropped off by the local fire truck. Makes me love our little town even more. 

Friday, March 21, 2014

Not yet.

It's been awhile since I've posted. Not that anyone cares, but I do like keeping a log for myself and kids, kind of like a timeline of our life. 

Right now I'm in the process of having to sign my baby up for kindergarten. I gotta be honest. I hate the thought of it. Preschool didn't feel like this.  Kindergarten is the start of it all, the sports, the homework, the influence of kids & adults! Not only that but I'm a sahm. I don't know how to be without my kids...  My mama gut is telling me no, but that could be Just an  unfamiliar territory feeling too.  

I'm not ready to send him off yet, not yet. I'm sure every mother goes through this. 

We'll see what happens.... I am guessing life will go on. I'll send him off. Wave goodbye to him and smile and cry on his first day of school. I'll do what I'm told because society has planned out our lives for us. I'll take the blow and hold in my feelings. I'll be happy for him, and be a room mother when I can just to get a piece of him. I'll watch him come home tired and exhausted. With nothing left to give but a bitter attitude toward his invasive mother.  I'll do all this and more and never understand why this is the way it is... He'll never know what he missed but I will. 

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

new website

Im so excited about my new website it is something i have wanted to do for awhile now. So i am glad it is finally off my to do list.

If you are a business ot blogger i highly recommend weebly. It is by far the easiest website design software i have found yet.

check it out!!

Friday, January 3, 2014

2014 here we go

As for the new year. A new slate will begin weather you like it or not. for some reason i am not sure i am feeling all that great about 2014. Not sure where this hesitation is coming from. I cant stop time i cant control anything. and whatever happens you like to think youll handle it head on with every strength in your body.... Its not easy to think of yourself as weak or defeated. Im not really sure why i think 2014 will be a challenge... but if it is i know im not near as strong as some might think. maybe thats the thing maybe the stronger you show you are the weaker you are on the inside... might be true for some it certainly is for me. That was actually my reputation in school "strong". In fact i had a close friend say this to me the other day. I was so strong in school she never pictured me being such an anxious mother. Ive actually suffered most of my life with anxiety. Ive suffered with IBS for the last 4 years due to bad nerves. and When my kids get hurt. my husband now knows the kid needs to be removed and examined before i look cause i cant handle them in pain.... none of this im proud of by any means. My true colors, my weaker side. Im not strong at all in fact im much weaker than id like to admit.
Kind of the weird thing about having kids. As vulnerable as having children makes you. You have to be strong for them, if they see their tower of strength is weak... how will they feel safe? In return this makes you stronger than you realize.... cause even when pretending you are for them... You eventually just believe your own lies and move on. Kind of like the new year it just moves on....

me ranting about nothing.

So i had a minute and realized i havnt posted anything on here in quite awhile. I enjoy writing on my blog for my business and some personal if i feel the need to vent a bit.
Things have slooooooowwwweed down in my mind since ive been back from georgia... Nothing really to focus on or get excited about. Well dont take that the wrong way. I truly enjoy my life. but personally i need goals. deadlines. personal accomplishments. something to keep me busy and know that i dont have time to waste. To do stuff I enjoy and get excited about. So yes i applied to be a vendor at the show again this year except this time i only applied to the one in Ohio. No need to drive to Georgia again.... Please never again.

If i get in That will give me a goal. a focus. a purpose. something these Long Ohio winters can deprive you of when you are cooped up for far to long. To top it off it is only the 3rd of January... I have so long to go before Spring arrives.

Ive been selling my stuff at a store called Local Roots. It's actually a very cool store. All local handmade artists selling produce, crafts, jewelry, anything you can grow, sew or knit they have it. I love going in there is being a member there makes me feel like i am supporting a much needed cause. Plus a lot of people have been interested in my things there so it is giving me something to strive towards. A couple weeks ago i stood in and spoke with some local customers there. I met several really cool people. Which is always very refreshing.

Christmas was excellent. Other than the fact that both my kids have had damn near 2 months of being sick. Christmas was not going to be any less exciting. It was special and memorable.  Doing traditions that my mother did with me when i was a kid, a few traditions my husband does not understand. but regardless there worth doing.

Like this tradition waiting at the top of the stairs until mom and dad are ready.  By ready i mean our coffee is ready to drink the camera is ready and the suspense is killing them. Of course Oliver has no idea whats going on but he patiently waits by his brother.

Saturday, November 2, 2013

From peaches to buckeyes.

Interesting words where said tonight. Things that are hard to say. Hard to imagine. Hard to accept. Words that prove to me that I'm aging. I'm still in my late twenties and I believe 30's are more the reality check age. I think.... Who knows? 
I'm learning a lot. About people, about business, about family. Maybe Georgia did that to me, maybe it was an eye opener? I dunno ... 
I do know this.  I'm keeping an open mind. I'm accepting. I'm moving forward. I know there is not much info in this blog post. I apologize. Another thing that's taken me 27 yrs to accept.... We don't need to always know all the answers to anything in this life.... I actually think not knowing is the best part. 

Georgia went well... I'm glad to be home. Everyone's alive lol. I sold a bunch of stuff. Learned a lot!!! It was a good time. 
I actually think Georgia was a huge reality check for me... Nothing comes easy... Sometimes what you put in you don't get back. Sometimes you go through bad shit , and there isn't as much good to compensate. It's bullshit. It's life. I'm accepting. I'm moving on. With my held high. And when BS comes my way. I'm gonna push through it. And carry on. Tell me what other choice do you have?