Not yet.

It's been awhile since I've posted. Not that anyone cares, but I do like keeping a log for myself and kids, kind of like a timeline of our life. 

Right now I'm in the process of having to sign my baby up for kindergarten. I gotta be honest. I hate the thought of it. Preschool didn't feel like this.  Kindergarten is the start of it all, the sports, the homework, the influence of kids & adults! Not only that but I'm a sahm. I don't know how to be without my kids...  My mama gut is telling me no, but that could be Just an  unfamiliar territory feeling too.  

 

I'm not ready to send him off yet, not yet. I'm sure every mother goes through this. 

Sigh.... 

We'll see what happens.... I am guessing life will go on. I'll send him off. Wave goodbye to him and smile and cry on his first day of school. I'll do what I'm told because society has planned out our lives for us. I'll take the blow and hold in my feelings. I'll be happy for him, and be a room mother when I can just to get a piece of him. I'll watch him come home tired and exhausted. With nothing left to give but a bitter attitude toward his invasive mother.  I'll do all this and more and never understand why this is the way it is... He'll never know what he missed but I will.