We are leaving in 7 days. I am not actually sure what i will do with myself when this is over???? What to will i think about? what will consume my time and thoughts? What will be my next goal? The fact that i do not know the answers to these questions, is comforting. I don't i like that life is like that.
Im current;ly trying to plan this trip. I am trying to juggle cold weather, Meal planning, daily activities. On top of building inventory, Booth set-up, and everything else that is on my mind. At the moment i have no plan and it is still a little to early to start packing which is what i feel like i should be doing.
This is an adventure. I wish that as a mom, 'adventure' meant exciting and new!! but for me it means scary and vulnerable..... ugh i hate that.
O well i am trying to have the go with flow type attitude that i know exists in me somewhere.
Today is a gloomy fall day. Which i love. Something about sunny days make me feel guilty for not being outside. Gloomy days make me feel like its ok to be lazy. To wear my pjs all day. not do my hair, and let the kids watch movies and cartoons. maybe that's why i like winter? its just a whole season of just that.
Do you ever take stock of who you really are???
How you are as a person. A mother, a wife, a friend? DO you ever feel like if you where friends with yourself, you would willing hang out with you? Am I a quality wife, mother, friend?
I honestly don't know the answers to these things. but im working on finding the answers and hoping i like the results. And if i don't that will be my next goal.....