Monday, September 2, 2013

My patience is struggling

Was this the inevitable blog I would have written after 'first day of preschool ' post? 

I'm struggling as a parent to my 4 1/2 yr old. 
God love him but. I'm at times loosing my mind. I try so hard to be nice and caring. To plan accordingly to his wants and needs. Then all of a sudden I flip out on the dumbest thing like putting his socks on.   

I think after I've dodged all the morning arguments, the superfluous whining, the rudeness and disrespectful attitude, and behavior towards his younger brother. That by the time it's lunch time and we are putting on his socks and he gives the littlest effort to put the damn things on then whines to me about not being able to do it.… I snapped. 

When my patience has been broken, sometimes I even scare myself. I know I would never hurt my kids. But my anger can sometimes just get the best of me.   

I don't know what to expect. And so far this has been my hardest age. 

In a way I'm reaching out. Hoping other mothers can tell me everything is gonna be alright. That I'm normal for feeling this way and it will get better. 

Today on my way home from dropping him off. I had to pull over and call my husband. I was in tears. I feel so guilty for getting mad. And it sucks so bad cause we could be having such a great time. For some reason he's making all the small insignificant things, and turning them into dramatic, drawn out arguments.  My husband helps cause he knows how hard it is too, but that don't make it any easier. 

He's a good kid, and he has a huge heart. He would do anything for anyone, and it shows cause he has a ton of friends. I know it won't always be this way. I just always want to enjoy our time together and I wish that was a little easier to do. 

No comments:

Post a Comment